I started this "new" blog to document our journey to our youngest son Tanner, but the Lord had another purpose. My first post is quite "raw" and straight from my heart, but this can't be expressed any other way.
I posted this on Facebook yesterday morning and to date I have received 66 comments and 17 shares. That's a record for me. But it's NOT about that - unfortunately a lot of people related to this post; a lot of people are outraged that this is happening in our school systems; a lot of people stood up and said "why is the school administration allowing this"....
Here is my post:
My child may look or act different than yours. He may be "different" than other kids his age. He doesn't play sports, he has a handful of friends, he's interested in history (spends hours & hours entrenched in world history), so he may talk about things that some kids his age have never heard about & can't relate, he is a bigger boy with a HUGE heart who has trouble keeping up in PE class, he is sensitive & avoids confrontation at all costs & he bottles things up until he is finally pushed to a point that he bursts verbally. My child would rather sit inside or play outside with his siblings then make an effort to socialize because of his fear of rejection. My child likes order, consistency and a schedule. My child may look or act different than your child - BUT he is a child of God, just like your child & in our Father's eyes my child has been created equal.
But just because my child is "different" than other children his age - why should he be treated "different" - why is he ridiculed by his peers? Why must my child come home almost everyday in tears because of being "bullied"?
My child told me last night that he would "rather make a deal with the devil than return back to school". My heart broke in a million pieces. He asked me why other kids ignore him or make fun of him when he tries to make conversation with them. He said that he hates being different & said that his life is so horrible that he wishes he wasn't here. Seriously? My son would rather not "be here" because of how bad he is treated by his peers?As parents we trust that our children are safe at school; that they are in a secure, safe learning environment.
This is just what has happened in the last 2 days at the place I thought my son was "safe" at:
He was running laps in PE like everyone else was required to do - he was keeping his own pace & 3 boys ran up next to him, mocked him & made fun of his weight & "inability" to keep up with everyone else. Was the PE teacher aware? NO, not until I made them aware. But now my child is afraid to go back to PE...he took a 6 point deduction in class yesterday because he refused to dress out.
He was waiting for class to start, drawing in his art book, and some boy from another class walks in, talks to another boy in the class and says "watch this" and proceeded to walk up to my son, take his art work from the book, rip it in half & take it with him to show (brag) to others what he just did. My son didn't even look up to see who it was because he was scared. Is this a safe, secure learning environment? Where was the teacher? NOT in the classroom. NOT aware of what was going on their classroom.
I have taught my son to be the hands & feet of Jesus - to see the good in everyone. I told him to pray for these boys who feel the need to belittle him. But I can honestly tell you that I wasn't feeling very Christian when I walked into school yesterday afternoon to find out how this happened & what they were going to do about it.
My child is highly intelligent - so intelligent that sometimes his conversations with me are very one sided because I honestly don't know what he's talking about. He deserves a good education. He deserves to learn in a safe environment; free from bullies & people who "judge" him.
You will be seeing another post, hopefully soon, about this - but because my son has "BEGGED" me to take him out of this school, because his grades are now suffering, because he would rather bargain with the devil than attend one more day there & because he doesn't think his life is worth living - I will be doing whatever I HAVE to do to homeschool him next school year. I WILL NOT allow this to happen to him anymore. My son has become my WHY & I will be going on an ALL out mission to assure him that he will be able to spend his 8th grade in a safe learning environment.
Can I ask a favor? Can we all learn a lesson from this? If you haven't already, would you take the time to educate your children on the effects of bullying? Just because your child plays sports, has a girlfriend, is "popular", wear designer clothes or whatever it may be - please tell them that we are ALL created equal in God's eyes & bullying in any form is just not acceptable. If they see a peer being bullied - do they tell an adult? Do they feel comfortable telling an adult IF they are being bullied?
This is NOT going to stop without our acknowledgement that it IS happening. This is NOT going to stop without educating our children & the school staff. This is a community issue - not a case by case issue. WE as a community must put a stop to what are children are being subjected to.
"Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God" Romans 15:7
*after this was posted yesterday I received several private messages from school mates of Ryan. Other children who acknowledged that Ryan is being bullied. You see my son doesn't tell me "everything", he only "mentions" events when it gets to be TOO MUCH for him. Please see below a couple of the messages I received.
*sorry to bother you, but i completely agree with you when you say that your son does not deserve to be treated the way he is. he knows more than half the class combined and is kind to others, even though they take it as weakness. i try to put a stop to it, and if he is ever picked on or anything similar to that, he should know that he can rely on someone to put an end to it. he may be quiet, but that doesn't say anything about his quality of character. your son has done nothing to deserve this, and it's a shame he's treated like this.
* i talk to him in gym a lot, and he has such a genuine personality. it's not fair that people disrespect him to that extent, especially when he has done nothing wrong. whenever someone messes with him and i see it, i make an attempt to put an end to it, because no one should feel that they need to give him a hard time.
*That's exactly what I've been saying to everyone in gym .!! They really need to leave him alone it's not cool I tlk to him a lot and I ask him if he's okay and he always says yes I'm fine but then when he runs he always has his head down and it makes me feel so bad bc I try to help but then again ik there's nothing I can do
Please pray for my son, the bullies, the school administration and for ALL children who DAILY experience some form of abuse from a bully!
